The Silent Minority.

Who is the Silent Minority when it comes to mental health?

From my counselling experience, any mental illness does not just affect the individual suffering from the problem, but can cascade outwards to numerous people involved in that person's life. And those people can become the 'Silent Minority'.

If your partner, a loved one, family member or friend is diagnosed with a mental health condition, where do you turn to for advice?  Sure, your GP may be able to offer some basic, generic advice, but a GP's time is limited and may only be able to spend a few minutes with you. Plus, they cannot of course discuss the medical condition of the person you are trying to help. There are one or two books out there, but the symptoms of the illness your loved one maybe suffering from, will be unique and no book will be able to answer all your questions.

In my work I am always interested in the support network my client has. Let's face it, if you're ill, you need to know that those around you will help.  A lot of clients feel guilty that in some way they are harming those around them and disrupting their lives. 

It's only relatively recently that the brick wall, which has been the stigma of mental illness, has started to come down.  We can now discuss depression and stress more openly but still people don't know all the facts and still people ridicule the various conditions.

If someone you know has a mental illness, consider the following to help you help them:

• think about going to a consultation (i.e. with the GP) with them. You may be able to ask questions and also make notes so that important points can be remembered later.
• ask for information about any medication that has been prescribed. If they are prescribed medication such as anti-depressants, ensure you are aware of any possible side-effects.  Remember, this type of medication is normally prescribed over a period of months so make sure you arrange to go back to your GP BEFORE the prescription runs out.
• check to see if a blood test might be needed periodically because of the medication prescribed.
• ask about support groups, on-line or otherwise so you can gain more information if necessary.  

By involving yourself in the process with your partner, you will hopefully  feel less isolated about symptoms, diagnosis, drugs etc etc.

Back at home, try and keep things as normal and structured as possible. Avoid saying things like, 'snap out of it' etc as if that was possible, there wouldn't be a problem in the first place. Be patient, ask what help your partner wants (they may need to be left alone at times) and encourage them to get out of the house at least once a day. There's a really good poster on my Facebook page:



Don't try and force them to talk.  They may feel terrible, but won't necessarily have the words to explain how they are feeling.  If they need to cry, let them; often this allows a release of anger or frustration.  Encourage them to write down their feelings and thoughts, even if it's just singular, simple words.

Try and ensure your partner eats well, or as best they can in the circumstances.  Check they are taking their medication as prescribed and if you notice any signs of self-harm or suicidal tendencies, call the GP immediately.

Try to avoid becoming a carer as that appears, from my experience, to be one way of dragging down the partner or loved one.  If you feel pulled down by the weight of responsibility, speak to your GP as well as the last thing we want is for you to internalise your worries and pain.

There are lots of things we can do when someone we love has a mental illness. These are just a few pointers and of course if you have any other questions, feel free to write to me.  If you are interested in attending a support group which would meet on a fortnightly basis, just email me to show your initial interest and I can take it from there.

Kind regards

John Sayer  
empowerment@btinternet.com